Day 48, 49
Throughout the last 5 weeks I have done a lot of things I should not have done. However, I have never been as low as to take something as pathetic as a "quote" from a photograph and use it with two separate partners. Always and forever. I hope he knows that swapping the words, does not make it any different. The only real difference would be that our picture was black and white and we were younger. Grow up. Get some original ideas for your insincere relationship. Be honest. Stop pretending that everything is finefinefine as a feather.
The thing with feathers is, they fall.
Now, I am truly exhausted by the masked and hopeless acting, and am getting to the point where I might blurt everything in an email, or a call, or even a blog. Not that he would be at all happy about it. But it wouldn't make a lot of difference, now would it? Liar.
D'autre part, I am indecisive. But not to the extent of making a huge life decision and then changing it every five minutes. Thinking between head and heart is never easy, but I refuse to be a paper doll, swinging around between his incompetences to do the right thing. Either way, whatever he (miraculously) decides, if this goes on much longer I will come out with everything myself. Although it will end badly for me, and mean no more champagne and Christmas "presents." No more. I am not 12 and won't be manipulated into "waiting" and believing his disgusting dishonesties. All I can do is feel sorry for the other person.
By the way, the runs are helping a lot. Thanks.
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